ZiggyBowie — Decorate yourself in 70s getup, play guitar, including the requisite jammin’ good with Weird and Gilly and them Spiders from Mars;

AlladinsaneBowie — All the glam and glitter you can carry, but be weighed down with so many phamaceuticals that the entire experience is little more than a blur when you look back years after the fact;

The Thin White Duke Bowie — Be Germanically obsessed, androgynous and shellshocked by life’s misfortunes. But at least you wind up with a closet full of snappy Italians suits;

LowBowie — Produce a work of sheer artistic genius that fails miserably as a commercial product;

ScarymonsterBowie — Be consigned to a Kornilof clown costume while producing your very best work, but in which people only fully appreciate until decades after the fact;

Let’sDanceBowie — Make music as bad as your haircut. And laugh all the way to the bank; or

QuinquegenarianBowie — Produce fantastic material year after year that gets limited but enthusiastic support. Oh and more bad haircuts.

What’s my pick? QuinquegenarianBowie, hands down. Always do your very best at what you do and there will always be a market for it.